The Ungood Men

I am a man

who has said I love you

to six different women

without ever knowing how to love.

I am a man who wants to change the world

but never my ambition,

to be on the golden podiums.

I am a man who wants to be toughest.

Yet will always want to feel warm and taken care of.

I am a man who wants to be cool like 1950’s movie stars

Even with devout anxiety and shaking knees.

I am a man who drinks his pride like unsober American heroism.

I am a man drunk with preconceptions of predating confidence.

I am a man dead, of the soul and the lilac design.

I am man for your loving and undue abuse.

I am a man who can’t stop hurting those he loves.

I am a man who grew up too soon.

I was never a man.

I was hurt and astray.

Filled with knowings and scars.

I put them in women,

and feel like a man.