To Be Happy or To Be Oneself
There is a problem and ultimately a profound paradox of making friends. When we are attracted to someone romantically or platonically, there seems to be a common thread that ties these two different human engagements. This being our sense of virtue, the way we define what is good and evil. Consider the soul to be an aperture, that has been adjusting itβs foucs upon a trailhead.
You have been given instructions in order to do everything to turn that once blurry image into crystal clear photograph. We call this process βgrowing upβ assimilating the teachings of our parents and our culture to have a clear focus of what we are supposed to focus on and thereby achieve. Thus creating our sense of virtue, what we believe to be right and wrong, good and evil.
Aristotle made the assertion that all human happiness is derived from our sense of virtue. Therby implying two things, one that happiness is not a objective thing that can be achieved. This seems to be comically understood in the personal development industry. And two, if all happiness is indeed built upon virtue. Having an unfulfilling virtue should make man unhappy regardless of the prior happiness that was generated between both people.
When we apply this to our lives we realize that what we have found attractive in our partner or loved from our best friend has very little to do with them and their psychology. An inner world of secrets we will never have access to. We're all a little crazy, a little weird, with imaginations, we can explain, but no-one can fully understand. The problem though, is we are actively encouraged to lean into this weirdness to show we are different from all those that are too scared to.
When in fact, weird is just the contrast against people to afraid to be themselves. It is the dog chasing his tail his tail convinced there is something chasing him. Extracting our imagination to put in hands of a stranger. If happiness is the goal for all human relationships why do you want to be yourself?
